I hope people will come to my yard sale. I’ve put up signs all over town. It’s not that hard to get to my house. Simply turn left onto Moccasin Street. Watch out for the thing- you’ll know what I mean. Get out of your car and walk over to a yellow house with a blue tiled roof. You will then meet my neighbor. His name is Sir Snorts-a-lot (yes, I know, who names a baby “Sir Snorts-a-lot?”). Knock on the door and he will give you magical granola that will make you magical. Eat it. Have you eaten it yet? Once you have, I have something to tell you. The granola isn’t magical, it’s poisonous. You will die in twenty-four hours. But don’t worry, I have the antidote and it can be yours for only $19.95 (that’s what I’m selling at my yard sale.)
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